It's not everyday that you cause your professor to lose her appetite (let's hope so, at least) but that's exactly what I did last week when I forwarded Dr. Dale Snow, Acting Chair of Loyola's Philosophy Department and the woman who mentored me in my first steps towards understanding the importance of feminism, an article I'm sure many of you have seen. Permeating the Facebook statues and updates over the last couple of days, a BroBible, an "observation" piece by "Waffles McButter" and his soggy-minded cohorts, has been spreading its virulently deluded notes on Loyola's female population.
If that doesn't clue you in on the credibility of these self-appointed prowlers (read: creeps), let's see what they actually have to say about the meat-I mean women-in question. To start: the ratings. Let's pat ourselves on the backs, girls, we score above-average in almost every category; we're "gorgeous and rich" and-look at that!-a B+ in the "Intelligence" category! On top of that, our "Maintenance" ranking is a solid B, so throw a few drinks our way (B+ in "Alcohol Consumption") and we'll be all over you (Willingness to [ahem]: B+). And don't worry about the tab, boys, we'll foot the bill-Daddy's Bank Roll earned us a shiny A+. Our blind generosity is eloquently reiterated by one of Pancake's sources, "The bar scene can get a bit expensive but everyone from Loyola is rich, so we manage." Glad we could help-would you like a foot massage with that gin and tonic?
On top of that, we're morally chaste (or at least make a good stab at pretending), spending our Saturday nights losing our clothes and inhibitions on the streets of Baltimore only to regain some semblance of purity on Sunday morning. "This is why the girls you might see at Church are the same girls who were running wild just hours beforehand. Upon waking up the next morning, Loyola chicks will rely heavily on confession to absolve them of their sins." Ahh, that explains why mass was so well-attended this morning! Thank you so much for clearing that up, Mr. McButter.
I know how many of you felt when reading this: I was pissed, too. To address the machismo complex of the lurkers, however, it's important to use our heads. My old roommate, Melissa Rosvold, champion of women's right on and off campus, prepared a summer research project on sex trafficking last semester and included the following quote on the informational poster: "Students must let the gritty reality of this world into their lives so they can learn to think about it critically and engage it, feel it, respond to its suffering constructively." Ironically, that very same theme was discussed at mass on Sunday morning when Father Gillespie, professor in the graduate Pastoral Counseling department, illuminated the subject of agape-or selfless love-and the need to react to adversity with a willful composure and adherence to goodness that will ultimately demand respect from your foe (try to remember this, even when you really just want to throw the drink that jerk's face).
The very phrase "bros before hos" reveals the fear that some man, somewhere, might break ranks with his buddies and put a woman first," Dr. Snow says reflecting on the piece, "How better to strengthen a male sense of solidarity than by publishing these supposedly humorous ratings articles? Should a woman object to either the tone or the content, she can be dismissed as just a humorless feminazi. Yet the real joke is on the man or men unwilling to attempt the unquantifiable unpredictability of a real relationship with a fellow human being who happens to be female, and instead hides behind juvenile "ratings" and misogynistic generalizations." (Bravo!)
Beth Schoch, a friend of mine and an Elementary Education major who worried about what her fourth-graders might think if they happened to stumble upon this article online, echoes Snow's message. "When I first read this article, I was ashamed to be a college student. To know that someone took their time to write such awful and offending words about the girls that I know as friends is sickening," she says. "I know so many wonderful girls who spend their time helping others and being involved in all the service activities that Loyola has to offer, such as the Beauty of Women, that promotes the need to have a positive self image. To say that all Loyola girls run around with Daddy's credit card, hammered on York Road is insulting and repulsive."
I couldn't have said it better myself, and if you-college-educated, articulate female, or male-agree I suggest you let our "inspector" know (WafflesMcButter@BroBible.com) that strong, independent, respectable women are the rule-rather than exception-at Loyola University Maryland.
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