This week I received a letter from a junior girl. She writes, "Courtney, what are some good costume ideas for Halloween? I can't think of anything this year."
Here is my response:
Good question. The time only comes once every year. Sure, we may go to a Jesuit school, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy a good pagan holiday every now and then, especially one that gives us an excuse to dress up and strut around Fells Point like a horse after it's won the Triple Crown, but before it becomes glue.
It's the one night of the year where you can be whoever or whatever you want to be. Remember what that's like? Think back. Way back. You know, before you got your SAT scores. Therein lies the million-dollar question, "What are you going to be?" This year, why not try thinking out of the box? I mean, you're already drinking out of one, right?Brainstorm something that no one's ever done before, like a Playboy bunny, Angel, or a French maid.
Oh wait. Hey girls, I'm not one to judge. I was a flight attendant my sophomore year and by the end of the night I was about ready to slaughter the next guy who told me his tray table was in an upright position.
Still, every girl has got to do the cliché costume at least once in her life. Play it off as a rite of passage and your serious need for a new Facebook picture. I won't judge you. Everyone else will, but I won't. On the other hand, there is a certain novelty to being something completely original.
The problem is that if you get too creative, you risk having to explain your costume all night long. Case in point: Last year my friends decided to go as the Flintstones. Too cool for school, I decided that I would go as Judy Jetson. Get it?
Yeah, neither did anyone else.
What did I learn? Beware of the "collective" costume.
This is the one where your best friends come up with this magnificent idea (and by magnificent I mean completely overdone but constituting the number of people you happen to have listed on your roommate agreement form).
The characters from the Wizard of Oz? Don't encourage it. You know that you're going to end up the Tinman. Unless you want to end up crying on the pavement in a broken heap of aluminum foil, "Next" that idea before it even gets off the bus.
Legends of the Hidden Temple? It's easy to be disillusioned when you see that sick Silver Snake emblem, but only until you find out everybody else already called not being the Purple Parrot. This is a guarantee that you won't even make it past the first round.
Cinderella and the ugly stepsisters? Ugly stepsister. The characters from Sex and the City? Miranda.The characters from Shrek? A character from Shrek.
You get the idea.
The other potential problem with the collective costume is that it won't be nearly as mind-blowing when you get separated from your friends. I don't care how brilliant "Entourage" is, if you're alone and you tell someone "Turtle," he's going to want to see a shell.
So now what?
Well, you can always go out and buy a costume. But that requires going out and buying a costume, which is a problem, because you only have $30.82 cents to your name (most of which you owe to Video Americain for your week-overdue "Lords of Downtown"). Looks like you're going to have to do it yourself. As a senior, I've seen a fair share of solid masquerade efforts.
Here is a list of some of my all-time favorite Halloween costumes from over the years: Quail Man, Where's Waldo, Cory and Sean from Boy Meets World, Inspector Gadget and Penny, and Alvin and the Chipmunks. Pop culture icons are a sure thing.Topical costumes are also good.
Offensive costumes might initially seem like a good idea, but only until your teeth hit the curb.
Overly intelligent and witty costume, I'd like you to meet my good friends, blank stare and awkward silence. Good luck with that.
I know that I didn't really cover boy costumes. This is because, from my experience, boys just dress up like girls anyway -- same rules apply. In conclusion, it doesn't really matter what you do as long as you come up big.
If you really get stuck for an idea, I know someone selling a gently used Judy Jetson costume for a very reasonable price. Best of luck and I'll see you out there.
Happy Halloween!
Ill-advised? Send Courtney your questions at greyhoundadvice@gmail.com and maybe next week you'll see your question in print!
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