Gina Moffa Opinions Columnist
When I was in the fourth grade - fully demonstrating all definitions of the word "awkward" - we were assigned to research our favorite saint and present him or her to the class. I chose St. Valentine, the patron saint of lovers, the legendary romantic whose name would forevermore be associated with the date February 14. Bespectacled and sporting my very fashionable mushroom haircut, I stood before the class and spoke about the risks St. Valentine took so that star-crossed lovers could be married. I looked around at my classmates, hoping that they would find the history behind his holiday, one that has been swept away in a chaotic tsunami of candy hearts and Shoebox cards, as illuminating and interesting as I did. Unsurprisingly, they did not. What is a valentine? By today's standards, a valentine is usually some sort of a significant other, although the title may vary. A valentine can refer to a boyfriend or girlfriend, a spouse, a crush, or perhaps just someone you are "together" with. In other cases, a valentine can simply be a friend, of the opposite sex or not, whom you choose to spend the day with or even give a heart-shaped box of chocolate to. Valentine's Day itself really doesn't have much to do with love at all. If that were the case, then we could all easily convince people we loved them by simply buying them one of those Hallmark cards with the creepy cursive font on it. That's not to say that Valentine's Day doesn't serve any purpose in American culture. Any excuse for people to eat an exorbitant amount of chocolate, spend money at Tiffany's, or send an exquisite display of flowers is OK in my book. But once the shiny wrappers are discarded, the jewelry is out of the turquoise box, and the leaves of that beautiful bouquet have wilted, the difference between true love and Valentine's Day faux-affection is quickly apparent. Most of the people I know who are in healthy, happy relationships don't even bother with the elaborate and ostentatious aspects of Valentine's Day. Considering the fact that we are still feeling the financial side effects of Christmas and can hardly afford $2 beer drink specials, few are inclined to run to the jewelry store with credit card in hand because Cupid pierced them with a golden arrow. For most couples, Valentine's Day means dinner at a nice restaurant and perhaps a few token gifts. It is not a momentous occasion in which the stars align and two lovers stare into one another's eyes for hours on end, surrounded by candles and a live violinist. It is just an ordinary day. For those who are single - particularly girls - Valentine's Day is just another depressing reminder that they are alone. Typically, groups of single girls will form some sort of agreed upon alliance in which they spend the day together accompanied by a stack of romantic comedies and boxed wine. These gatherings most likely account for most of the chocolate consumption on Valentine's Day. The Valentine's Day phenomenon has grown to be enormous, so much so that I noticed vibrant, fire-engine red boxes of candy in drug stores as early as the week after Christmas. It's completely commercialized, yet countless people feel as if they need to partake in it in order to fit in. Today, the concept of a valentine can be associated with relatively anything - from a same-sex best friend, to a beloved pet, or even a secret crush you have never even spoken to. Everyone wants to have a valentine and everyone gets one. The initial factor of true love is virtually untraceable. In a way, every day is a Valentine's Day of sort. True affection is not limited to one day of the year, nor can it be amplified with the receiving of a Build-A-Bear. While it's never bad to be showered with gifts and spend the day with someone you truly care about, when it all comes down to it, Valentine's Day is just another day of the year. We all have a myriad of different valentines in our lives, although we usually don't acquire them with a lacey card that reads "Be Mine." We acquire our true valentines through time, nurturance, and experience. Unknown to us, we acquire them every single day.
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