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During the quiet of a Friday afternoon, "Little Steph" is remembered by her roommates as a smiling, energetic and friendly girl, one known for shouting full names of friends across the Quad and having an affinity for weird food combinations, like rice with ketchup.
"She had such a big presence for such a little girl," says Julieanne Malley, one of Stephanie's roommates.
On Tuesday, the Loyola College community was rattled when it learned of the death of Stephanie Parente and her family. Baltimore County police discovered Stephanie, along with her mother and father, Betty and William, and her little sister, Catherine, in a Towson Sheraton hotel room at about 3 p.m., Monday. According to police, the deaths of Stephanie and her family members came as an apparent murder-suicide committed by the father. In a press conference Wednesday, Baltimore County police reported that William Parente took the lives of Stephanie, her sister and her mother during the course of the day Sunday before killing himself early Monday morning.
"It's troubling, to put it mildly, when a peer dies so senselessly in a context that should be most comfortable and safe," said Fr. Brian Linnane, S.J., college president.
Although the official announcement about Stephanie's death came in an e-mail from Linnane Tuesday morning, students began hearing of the tragedy as early as 10 p.m., Monday night. Fr. Chuck Frederico, S.J., recounts returning to campus Monday night, only to be called to a resident assistant's room in Campion, where about 30 students were gathered, huddled together watching the news report on television. At about 11:30 p.m., 150 students, Loyola's Student Life staff, all the RA's and most of the school's counseling staff converged in the chapel, where Fr. Chuck, along with Fr. Jack and Fr. Nash, led an impromptu Mass.
"Everyone was taken by the moment," said Fr. Chuck, who remembered going to bed "empty and afraid" Monday night.
Indeed, all of Loyola's campus appeared to be "taken by the moment" this past week, as an attitude of mourning and solemn reflection reverberated throughout the school in the wake of Stephanie's death. Students, professors, administrators and staff leaned on each other for support, and an entire school appeared united in not only mourning the death, but also celebrating the life of Little Steph.
A mass held in memory of Little Steph and her family last Tuesday night drew close to 1,000 attendees, according to George Miller, assistant director of Campus Ministry; Loyola's chapel only seats 450 people. Officiated by Fr. Linnane, students began arriving for the Mass around 8 p.m. By 9 p.m., the chapel pews spilled over with friends, mourners and campus members. Students continued piling in, directed to stand in the aisles and sit on the floor and the altar.
Little Steph's roommates-Julieanne Malley, Lauren Gallinari, "Big Steph" Nguyen, Danni Scorrano and Heather Draganescu (who transferred last summer to Villanova for nursing)-occupied the front pews, and a black-and-white photograph of Little Steph was on display at the altar.
"Everyone was hugging each other. It was like family," recalled sophomore Jenn Ladd. "It was heartbreaking, but still very moving."
Fr. Linnane, who mentioned he felt like a father to Loyola's small undergraduate community of 3,500, later remarked that the church was "racked with sobbing."
"The mood was something like I never experienced in 35 years [of teaching and administrative work]. This shows something very fine about Loyola, that we are able to come together in support for each other."
During the course of the week, an invisible bond linked students together, fortifying them as they reminisced about Little Steph.
"Her humor and smile kept everyone in a good mood," sophomore Amber Beigay said.
"I would always look forward to passing her on the way to class," said Pooja Bhatnagar, another sophomore.
Donny Cooke, director of Loyola's Counseling Center noted that students "have freely been crying, freely been holding each other and expressing their feelings."
"Even for students who never met her, the spirit of this is hovering on the campus," Cooke said.
In a vigil Thursday night, roughly 300 students came together in community outside Butler Hall, Little Steph's dormitory in freshman year. Amid a sea of somber looks, students lit candles as the memory of Little Steph was honored through song and prayer.
"You are her collective memory," said Fr. Jack, who led the candlelight vigil. He noted at the beginning, "I didn't bring enough candles."
Students embraced through tears during the 45-minute gathering. Pictures of Little Steph and her friends flooded four poster boards spread across a picnic table. After the vigil, students were invited inside Flannery O'Connor Hall to produce audio recordings in memorandum of Little Steph.
Said junior Amanda Merson, Little Steph's freshman-year RA and organizer of the vigil, "It is quite apparent that she was loved by a lot more people than knew her freshman year."
In a trying time for the whole campus community, students have stepped forward in a slew of ways to offer support and help to Little Steph's roommates and friends. Lauren Gallinari, one of the roommates, mentioned all the complimentary meals administrators and fellow classmates have been providing. Julieanne Malley expressed appreciation for friends Dave Byrne, Greg Eng and Omololu Bajulaiye, who resorted to sleeping on their dorm room floors so Julieanne and the other roommates, still uncomfortable sleeping in their own dorm room, could have beds to sleep in.
"We're breaking down every 30 minutes," said Julieanne. "Every time I hear something new about it [Little Steph's murder] in the news, it's like someone is punching me in the stomach. We don't know how we'd be getting through this without the love and support."
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