"Let's Talk About Sex: The culture of sexuality, the 'hook-up' culture and relationships on Loyola's campus" was a panel discussion that took place on November 11 organized by Beauty of Women, an organization sponsored by the Women's Center.
The panel consisted of three seniors from Loyola University including Greg Howard, Patrick DePuydt, and Caitlin Engler, as well as a graduate of Loyola, Sandra.
Diving right into the frequently ignored topic, the panel was asked to describe what exactly they took "hook-up" to mean. Sandra said, "For my generation, it means going out with someone and making out. We never really took it as far as having sex, but I feel that today that where it is going." Current students seemed to say it was "anything put" or that it was a term used interchangeably. Howard stated that the use of the term has to do with commitment. "Yeah, I hooked up with my girlfriend last night. You just wouldn't say that," he said. As it turns out, every panelist had a different interpretation.
As conversation delved deeper, tha panelists were asked to describe what actually drives the "sex culture" on campus. "Alcohol," Howard stated while the other panelists nodded their heads in agreement. Engler stated, "Our age is basically the first generation that does the whole hook up thing. My parents don't know what that is. We're in a rough spot." The panelists discussed the fact that usually a date came before sex, now sex comes first with only the possibility of a date afterwards, and an unlikely possibility at that.
Discussion turned into why we hook up. If it has such a negative connotation then why does it still happen? Sandra said, "Peer pressure." With agreement from the audience, there seemed to be a concensus that most people hook up because it is what other people are doing, whether it is who they truly are or not. "I feel like girls have to compete," Howard said. Engler continued by saying, "You put yourself out there, you get someone to hook up with you in hopes that they'll call you again and they don't, and it sucks. Then you start the cycle all over again."
As panelists began to try and determine the reasons for why this hook up culture exists, technologies became a distinctive factor. "The point at which our parents were our age, they had conversations face to face. But now, men are scared to do that because of rejection. So, we text instead," Depuydt said. An audience member responded, "It's not a big deal if you talk about it. But, most people don't and that's how people get hurt. Nowadays people are afraid of rejection. Would you rather chase a girl for two hours or just go up and ask her? It's not a big deal to ask a girl 'Can I kiss you?' In fact, some girls like that."
DePuydt continued to say that people who were permiscious during our parents generation were "permiscious with honesty," they went out on a couple of dates, had sex, and then broke it off. But, is that really better? Or would people get even more hurt that way?
If so, is there a possibility that this no-strings-attached culture is progressing?
Contoversy arose. Maybe it is now a part of our culture, but, as audience member Patrick Sullivan mentioned, those who wait for marriage are less likely to get divorced. In response, another audience member suggested that people who wait are less likely to get divorced because they are more likely to stick it out and force it to work even if they are suffering.
It was inferred that these days, most people do not want to be in a relationship in which you don't have a physical connection but you also don't want to have a relationship based solely off of sex.
So where is the middle ground? An audience member mentioned that the situation is very hard for girls. The girls who meet you at a bar and are willing to give it up in one night aren't the ones you take seriously. But, if a guy dates a girl and she makes him wait to long, he will probably end it as well.
So where is the happy medium? It was determined that timing must be perfect, which is really hard for girls. Even the boys in the room seemed to agree that girls have it rough. Then, the moderator asked the question, "So why do girls get judged so easily when boys don't get judged at all in this regard?"
The most distinctive point made was that the real world is nothing like the Loyola "bubble." Here, the hook up culture has developed because it can and it's easy. But in the real world, it's not the same.
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