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Stop Telling Me What To Do!

business conflictAre you tired of being told what to do by your business partner, colleagues, team or associates? Have you ever wondered why some of your business colleagues and associates are so bossy and come across as controlling, while others let you have the freedom to do what you want to do?

A Difference of Style

You have probably noticed that you get along well with some business colleagues, associates and team members. However, there may be others whom you find challenging to relate to because they are different to you. It is these differences in style that can create conflict in our business relationships, and our business success.

When our style is the same as that of our business colleagues, associates and team members, we naturally get along. When our style is different to those of our business colleagues, associates and team members, then there is potential for conflict especially when we are unaware of what drives the difference in style. Rather than thinking that your business associates, colleagues and team members are being controlling or bossy, learn to understand your style and theirs to avoid future conflict.

Differences in style can be driven by many different things and at least by sixty different personality traits. One of these traits relates to how we relate to people in groups, and there are three different styles that a person can have when relating to their business associates, colleagues and team members:

  • Management
  • Team
  • Independent
  • Management Style

A business associate, colleague or team member with this preference will be the one organizing business events and projects. They will be the one initiating projects and events, often delegating tasks to others.

Put two people with this style together in a business and each one will want to take charge rather than do the work ie. two chiefs and no Indians. If there are only management styles in a business, they will all be telling each other what to do and nothing may get done. To avoid conflict, someone in the business will need to take a back seat occasionally, while another person takes charge.

Team Style

People with this preference will rarely lead or take charge of organizing events or business projects. They will tend to follow, enjoy being part of a group and prefer to collaborate and work together as a team.

Put two people of this style together in a business and they may do a lot of collaboration, yet may lack clear direction or outcomes. If everyone in the team or business has this style, there may not be anyone in charge of coordinating an event or project. To avoid conflict, lots of talk with little action or projects going off track, always have someone in charge.

Independent Style

People with this style like to do things on their own and prefer to act independently. They like to work on their own projects rather than things involving other people. They don’t take direction well. When told to do things, they may get annoyed.

If there are two independent styles together in a team or business, they may not spend enough time working together, not see each other or speak that often and be quite happy to do their own thing. Other members of the team or business many find this disinterest in spending time with them as rude or arrogant. To avoid conflict, the independent style person needs to occasionally spend time with the team, and others need to give this person time to be on their own and do their own thing occasionally.

Working With the Differences

It is important to be aware of and to respect the different styles amongst your team, business associates and colleagues. Start to observe their language and behavior and notice which style they prefer when relating to you and others. Then next time you are told what to do by your business associate, colleague or team member, remember it is how they relate to other people. Avoid taking it personally or over reacting to them. Respect the differences in style and notice how this impacts positively on your business relationships and business success. … Read the rest

 

Is Your Business Out of Control?

Are you clear about your business vision, direction and goals? Is fear, second guessing and over analysis holding you back from taking action for your business? Do you wish you could regain control of your business?

Risky Business
While there are many possible risks in business, the biggest risk to your business success might be you and your lack of:

Clear vision, direction and goals
Effective people, communication, leadership and delegation skills
Trust and follow through on your decisions and commitments
Self-belief and persistence in the face of challenges
Effective self-promotion, relationship building and networking skills
Consistency in having and following systems and processes for business success
Control over your emotions – instead overreacting with anger, fear, hurt, guilt, resentment, betrayal, etc.
Consistent focus on what you want – instead being overly anxious and worried
Effective business habits – instead bad habits such as procrastination, being disorganised, etc.
From my 30 plus years of business experience I noticed a consistent theme. Despite a business having the best systems, best practice processes, latest gadgets, office set-up, etc, there is one thing critical to ensuring that these are used effectively for business success…… people! The more effective people’s behaviour is in using all the resources in the business, the more successful the business. You and your people are your business. Therefore, you need to have trust and solid business relationships with your employees, customers, colleagues, suppliers, partners, etc.

Whom/What Are Your Controlling?
If you are feeling out of control in business, think about whom or what are you seeking to control? Some people who feel out of control themselves, unconsciously seek to control other people. For example, by playing a victim role, getting angry, bullying, creating dramas, buying gifts, etc, they unconsciously create a dynamic where they are in control in that professional relationship. Other people who feel out of control, unconsciously seek to control things and their environment. For example, not delegating effectively, withholding information, overeating, drinking too much, etc.

At the end of the day, these people are ultimately not in control of themselves. That is the real issue. Until that is addressed, they will keep creating the same dynamics with people, things and their business and personal environment.

Control versus Influence
You are personally responsible for four things: how you think, how you feel, how you act and how you influence others. Other people are also responsible for four things: how they think, how they feel, how they act and how they influence you and others.

When you start to focus on how you can control what others say, think and do, you are focusing on what is beyond your control. Because this is beyond your control and if you seek to control it, you may feel frustrated or angry about the situation eg. sitting in bumper to bumper traffic and being unable to control the traffic or being frustrated by your colleague’s behaviour and being unable to change it.

Instead, focus on what you can control – changing your thoughts, feelings, actions and communication with other people. How could you take more charge of how you think, feel and act so that you are happier and more fulfilled in business and in life? How can you improve your communication and avoid misunderstandings and conflict? How can you treat people so that they treat you the same way in return?

Regaining Control
The first thing to realise is that people who trust themselves, trust others and the flow of business and life. Therefore, they find no need to control other people and situations. It is only people who have trust issues that feel the need to control others and situations. These people need to learn to trust themselves first in order to trust others. Trusting yourself is the key to business success and all highly successful business people trust themselves.

Focus on you and taking charge of how you think, feel and act so you regain control of your behaviour and your business. Address past emotions, limiting beliefs and internal conflicts, so that you stop sabotaging your business success and so that you fully trust yourself and your decisions. Also learn more effective communication and leadership skills to better inspire, motivate and empower others to perform at their best. Then watch your and your team’s performance and business thrive!… Read the rest