Super Bowl XLVI Retro Diary

Super Bowl XLVI Retro Diary

 

Since production is on Sunday for The Greyhound it is difficult to run articles about the previous weeks' NFL games. As you know, there was a pretty big football game last Sunday. So in order to show the big game some love I've taken a page out of Bill Simmons' book and we are going to run the inaugural retro diary of Super Bowl Sunday. I will be watching the showdown between the New York Giants and New England Patriots with nine of my roommates and about 20 other friends.

The house is pretty much pro-Patriots (besides myself and Sean, who is the die-hard Giant fan). And oh yeah, there's Papa, he's a Jet fan and this is pretty much the worse possible Super Bowl matchup for him. There will surly be plenty of ridiculous story lines. This should get interesting.

2:45 p.m. EST- The living room has been set up. Got about seven couches surrounding the big screen and post-it notes with names on everyone's seats. Yes, that's right we have assigned seats. We are still in fifth grade.

 

3:10- Driscoll announces his predictions to the crowd. He's been saying all week that Julian Edleman will return a punt for a touchdown and Nate Solder will have a reception. Two pretty bold claims my friend.

 

3:15- Wing orders to S'ghetti Eddies have been placed. We are expecting about 200 wings to arrive at kickoff. Over/under on number of napkins Ruocco needs to wipe sauce off his fingers is at 75.

 

3:30-4:30- The group elects to watch a movie to pass the time before the game and calm the nerves. Batman Returns (Michael Keaton is a stud) was the pick, sticking with the Batman obsession we have with anticipation for The Dark Knight Rises. Again, we are in fifth grade.

 

4:40- Papa puts on a Kevin Faulk jersey to officially declare his allegiance to the normally hated Patriots. Literally a minute later it is announced that Kevin Faulk will not be playing. If you look up the definition of "mush" in the dictionary you will see a picture of Papa's face.

 

4:45- NBC does first Brady-Manning piece on their high school days. This won't be the first time.

 

4:50- NBC does touching piece on Steve Gleason (the Saints player who blocked the punt in the first game in the SuperDome after Katrina). Goes to show how sports can go beyond just a simple game.

 

5:05- Chants of "Let's go Red Sox" from Driscoll. Who do I live with?

 

5:15- The eldest Driscoll (who is visiting for the game) announces that we still have an hour and fifteen minutes until kickoff. This is really excruciating for sports fans.

 

5:19- Vince Wilfork clips are great. The Patriot's big man announces in an interview that he can "absolutely" beat Tom Brady in a 40-yard dash. The fans go wild.

 

5:25- John Donavon (BC High) arrives. Crowd erupts. Sean is not pleased. For those who don't know JD is probably the most ridiculous Pats fan on the eastern seaboard.

 

5:35- Dan Patrick interview with Eli is shown. Talk mostly about Peyton Manning. That is the one and only time I will mention Eli's brother in this column.

 

5:39- Driscoll asks JD how he is getting home if Pats lose. JD's response: walking.

 

5:40- McManus guarantees that there will be a new William Shatner Priceline commercial. Bold, sir, bold.

 

6:10- Teams introduced and come on to field. Myself and the eldest Driscoll play the "college game" and try to say where each starter when to school before they announce it their introductions. If you didn't play that game during lunch in high school I have no idea what you were doing.

 

6:17- Kelly Clarkson hasn't missed a meal in a while. Still can sing with the best of them, though.

 

6:23- NBC color man Chris Collinsworth announces that the team who gets the most pressure on the opposing QB will win the game. That's obvious statement number one on the evening for for Chris. He is nauseating.

 

6:24- First group of ladies arrives. With tons of food, I love Super Bowl Sunday.

 

6:30- Pats kick off to Giants. In the words of Seanny Spills "LETS GO, I'M READY!"

 

6:33- The food is ready and of course Jake grabs brownies first. He has the eating habits of a five-year old. If I were a betting man I'd say he goes for a pack of skittles next.

 

6:37- Eli facing third and 13. He's strived in these situations so far this year. Not this time. He takes the second sack of the opening drive. Giants to punt.

 

6:40- On the menu: Wings for days, buffalo chicken dip, white pizza dip, home-made pizza bagels, baked macaroni and cheese, taquitos and guac, and infamous s'mores bars. Again, I love Super Bowl Sunday.

 

6:41- Brady throws ball away in the end zone. Intentional grounding. 2-0 Giants. Wow.

 

6:50- The Patriots are not allowed to play with 12 men on the field.

 

6:51- It's salsa time! Manning to Cruz. 9-0 G-Men.

 

7:06- Patriots have a nice drive but its cut short as Jason Pierre-Paul swats down a Brady pass at the line on third down. Patriots have to settle for three. 9-3 Giants.           

 

7:23- Been distracted by food. Patriots forced to punt. Giants ball with 8:24 left in the half. Bad news for G-Men as Michelle Tafoya announces that tight end Travis Beckum has torn his ACL and is out for the game.

 

7:28- Collinsworth invents a new position. Says Brandon Jacobs needs to play "powerback" instead of tailback. Is powerback some sort of combination of power forward and running back? Last I checked Jacobs played tailback.

 

7:30- MVP of the game so far: Giants punter Steve Weatherford. Pats are pinned inside the five for the second time in the half.

 

7:34- Gronk sighting. Gronkowski makes his first catch of the game for a Pats first down. Play takes us down to the two-minute warning. Patriot score here would really change momentum. Pats fans are getting antsy.

 

7:35- Adriana Lima.

 

7:43- The crowd does not like the e-Trade commercial with the babies. McManus again calls for Shatner. I'm beginning to become concerned.

 

7:46- In the words of Papa: JPP is an animal.

 

7:47- Huge score for Patriots. Brady to Danny Woodhead on third down with eight seconds left in the half.  10-9 New England. Great drive by Brady and company. 96-yards, tied for the longest drive in Super Bowl History. Brady is truly one of the greatest to ever play the position.

 

7:51- At the half: Patriots 10 Giants 9. Brady has completed 11-straight passes. Giants haven't gotten anything going in a while. Patriots get the ball to start the second half. The crowd has some choice words for Madonna.

 

8:07- A cameo by the worst band in the world: LMFAO.

 

8:08- "She's definitely lip syncing...oh my god I love Nicki Minaj!"- Moe

 

8:10- "Cee-lo Green looks like Wilfork's little  brother."- Seanny Spills.

 

8:11- The crowd goes wild for "Like a Prayer." Driscoll suggests Madonna for president.

 

8:23- The Pats fans go crazy with a reception by Chad Ochocinco's corpse. Giants pass rush is still nonexistent.

 

8:28- Aaron Hernandez TD. 17-9 Patriots. New Englanders love it. Vintage Tom Brady, folks. Giants desperately need a score on this drive.

 

8:37- Huge third and 10 for the Giants. Manning completes to Mario Manningham but only gets five yards. Giants have to settle for three. 17-12 Patriots midway through the third quarter.

 

8:45- Jerry Sienfeld. Still killing it.

 

8:47- Huge third-down stop for the Giants. First sack of Brady. Giants ball with five and half to go in the third.

 

8:50- Woah. Giants catch a break when Nicks fumbles after a completion but its recovered by New York. Nicks needs to be more careful with the ball. That'll come with experience.

 

8:55- Manning is sacked on third down with the Giants in the red zone. Patriots pass rush has been much better than Giants thus far. G-Men settle for a field goal. 17-15 New England with 35 seconds left in the third.

 

8:57- Al Michaels mentions that Jets are not in the Super Bowl. Papa: speechless.

 

8:59- Put up your fours. Patriot fans are confident.

 

9:03- Tom Brady tries to channel his inner Eli Manning by avoiding the rush and chucking a ball down field. But this time a Giant comes down with the ball again. Chase Blackburn has the games first turnover.

 

9:09- Eli completes a huge third down to Nicks deep in Giants territory.

 

9:18- Jake Ballard's knee. Not pretty.

 

9:21- "I'm happy the Jets didn't make the Super Bowl. I'd be a nervous wreck. I'd have a mental breakdown."-Papa. Just as he says that ex-Jet Danny Woodhead (who was cut nonetheless) has a huge catch on third down for the Pats.

 

9:26- JD salutes to the skies. Crowd erupts with chants of "Let's go JD."

 

9:31- Huge turn of events for the Giants. Welker drops an easy completion on 2 and 11. Welker catches that ball nine out of 10 times. Speechless. The Pats can't convert on third. Giants ball on their 11. Down 2. 3:46 to play. Sound familiar?

 

9:33- Unreal catch from Manningham. Giants ball at midfield. What. A. Catch.

 

9:35- Madness.

 

9:40- More madness.

 

9:43- Touchdown Giants. Ahmad Bradshaw runs it in. He tries to stop the clock on the one but doesn't do it. Giants up 21-17. Brady has a shot down four. 57 seconds left. Pats have one time out.

 

9:46- Brady has to go 80 yards for the win.

 

9:48- Patriots dropping balls left and right.

 

9:49- Down goes Brady! Tucks second sack of the game. Fourth down. All on the line here.

 

9:50- Wait a minute. Brady completes on fourth down. 32 seconds left.

 

9:51- Another completion. Brady spikes ball with 17 seconds left.

 

9:53- Brady's desperation heave falls harmlessly in the end zone. Giants win 21-17. UnbELIevable.

 

10:00- Eli Manning gets his second Super Bowl MVP. Eli's response when Dan Patrick announces that he won a new car- "All right." Typical Easy E.