2008 Woodie Awards
That's what she said: To date or not to date has never been a tougher question
Courtney Carbone
Issue date: 4/15/08 Section: Opinion
This week's question is: "I'm into this girl who dated my friend a while back. I want to ask her to hang out but should she be off limits?"
This is tricky one. While attending a smaller college like Loyola has its own set of benefits (like shorter walks to class, an added ease to making friends and personalized attention from professors), it also comes with a unique set of limitations (such as fewer major options, course selections and living arrangements). These were some of the things that we took into consideration before we sent in our first tuition checks.
What you may not have realized was just how much a smaller student enrollment might significantly impact your social life. It's not Penn State, people. There will come a time when you're eventually going to overlap with your friends.
Just because the dating history of your group of friends is starting to resemble a Euler diagram, there is not necessarily a cause for alarm. Still, there are certain factors you should consider before making a move on a girl with whom one of your buddies already has a history.
To start, define "dated." How long ago was it? How long did it last? If they hooked up in the bathroom of Reefer's freshman year and haven't talked since, I think it would be okay. If they have been together all of college and are taking a break when they go abroad, I would suggest you find someone with less baggage.
How good of friends are you with this guy? There's a huge difference between your roommate, rugby teammate and someone you let cut you in line while you were deciding between tuna and egg salad (the answer, of course, being neither). If the person is more of a "peripheral" friend, you probably don't have much to lose. On the other hand, if it's someone in your main circle of friends, don't do it. You'll regret it if the whole group gets awkward and your other friends are forced to pick sides (unless you're at Boston Market, things will probably get ugly).
Another factor to take into consideration is who broke things off with whom. If your friend was all about her for two weeks and then quickly moved on, he probably can't stake much claim. On the other hand, if he and this girl initially clicked and then she gradually started to taper off ("I have so much work to do all weekend;" "I've just been so busy I should have called;" or, my personal favorite, "Sorry, but tonight is girls' night"), your friend still might not be completely over it, even if he acts like he is.
This is tricky one. While attending a smaller college like Loyola has its own set of benefits (like shorter walks to class, an added ease to making friends and personalized attention from professors), it also comes with a unique set of limitations (such as fewer major options, course selections and living arrangements). These were some of the things that we took into consideration before we sent in our first tuition checks.
What you may not have realized was just how much a smaller student enrollment might significantly impact your social life. It's not Penn State, people. There will come a time when you're eventually going to overlap with your friends.
Just because the dating history of your group of friends is starting to resemble a Euler diagram, there is not necessarily a cause for alarm. Still, there are certain factors you should consider before making a move on a girl with whom one of your buddies already has a history.
To start, define "dated." How long ago was it? How long did it last? If they hooked up in the bathroom of Reefer's freshman year and haven't talked since, I think it would be okay. If they have been together all of college and are taking a break when they go abroad, I would suggest you find someone with less baggage.
How good of friends are you with this guy? There's a huge difference between your roommate, rugby teammate and someone you let cut you in line while you were deciding between tuna and egg salad (the answer, of course, being neither). If the person is more of a "peripheral" friend, you probably don't have much to lose. On the other hand, if it's someone in your main circle of friends, don't do it. You'll regret it if the whole group gets awkward and your other friends are forced to pick sides (unless you're at Boston Market, things will probably get ugly).
Another factor to take into consideration is who broke things off with whom. If your friend was all about her for two weeks and then quickly moved on, he probably can't stake much claim. On the other hand, if he and this girl initially clicked and then she gradually started to taper off ("I have so much work to do all weekend;" "I've just been so busy I should have called;" or, my personal favorite, "Sorry, but tonight is girls' night"), your friend still might not be completely over it, even if he acts like he is.
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