BATTLE OF THE SEXES

Q: I hooked up with a guy recently, and now he is essentially pretending he doesn't know who I am. I'm not looking for any grand gestures here, but I'd like to at least be civil/have him acknowledge me when I see him on the quad. What should I do?

Female Perspective:

Hm, you hooked up with a guy and now he's pretending he doesn't know who you are? It seems as though my advice on this situation has been written for me.

First of all, if this guy is not mature enough to acknowledge the fact that you guys hooked up, then he obviously isn't someone you want to hang out with. (Or maybe you do—but if that's the case, muster the little self-respect you have and please, please don't drunk text him.)

He's taken what should be a casual interaction and turned it into some sort of awkward mind game where you have to constantly make judgment calls about whether that was a wave or simply a hand spasm when you see him in Boulder in between classes. Simply put: the guy is a loser.

Nonetheless, I can't pretend to be above this emotional toss-up, and I know how uncomfortable the entire situation is. Perhaps you just wanted the consolation of knowing that he remembers your abrupt affair, but if this guy's not even giving you so much as eye contact on the quad, chances are that he's not the guy for you. You (and although I don't know you personally, I can assume this to be a true statement) can do better than that. No one should settle for immaturity, and no one should have to call into question whether or not they are "worth" remembering.

That being said, you should honestly just forget this guy exists. I know that this is easier said than done, but I truly believe you need to pick and choose your battles, and this doesn't seem like one worth fighting.

If he one night decides that his short-term memory loss has been recuperated and he wants to speak to you again, be cordial. Don't stoop to his level and let your eyes glaze over with a lack of recognition. In the end, you'll have saved your dignity and he'll emerge feeling like a jerk.

Male Perspective:

If I could reply to this question with only two words and get away with it, they would be this: do nothing.

It's increasingly difficult for me to dispense advice about this situation because I don't know the specifics; why do you feel as though you need his validation? I realize that's a loaded question, but I think that it's one to consider.

It would beneficial to consider that he may simply not be worth your time. If the two of you hooked up and he isn't acknowledging it, he either isn't interested in you or his memory is lacking. Either way, it doesn't sound like he's the man you'll want to father your children.

Practically speaking, maybe he honestly doesn't remember you. All of us (who are of the legal age, obviously) know what it's like to have one too many brews at good old Favorite's pub, and we're all aware that the people we meet after the clock strikes twelve are lost souls, doomed to dwell in anonymity for all of eternity. And no, I'm not being dramatic. Or verbose.

If you really want to start up a conversation (and my original notion of ‘doing nothing' simply doesn't appeal to you), a casual ‘hi' at the bar can't hurt. Shocking words coming from me, I know. Remember when I used to tell you to stand there and look good? Now's your chance to prove me wrong. Don't forget to send his reaction to the Greyhound; we want to hear all about it.

But back to doing nothing, my real advice: I think it's best that you continue living your life without any regard to this person. He shouldn't even be on your radar at this point. If he wants to say hi, let him. If he doesn't, he doesn't. In the wise words of Jay-Z, "on to the next one."

You did mention that you aren't looking for ‘grand gestures': you're simply looking for civility and world peace. Maybe you should compete for Miss America.