Resistance or Warm Reception?
Do you sometimes feel that your communication flows easily and at other times it is like pulling teeth? Would you like to stop getting resistance to your ideas and suggestions? Instead, imagine getting a warm reception from your prospects, customers, employees, suppliers, referrers and business partners.
A Natural Flow
When there is a natural flow between people in business, they feel totally comfortable expressing their opinions and views with each other, however different those views may be. They freely discuss business problems, ideas, solutions and challenges and feel at ease with each other as they do so.
If you begin a new business relationship in a negative way, you may receive instant resistance upon meeting with a new prospect, customer, supplier, employee or referrer. If you have had a natural flow with existing prospects, customers, employees, suppliers, referrers and business partners, sometimes you can get out of this natural flow with them. This often occurs when too many negative associations or disagreements occur between you over a period of time. Unconsciously, you can link negatives to each other, and the flow that you once felt is there less often or may even disappear after a while.
If you feel there is a lack of connection – that the natural flow is missing – between you and your prospects, customers, employees, suppliers, referrers and business partners, it is important to establish that with them prior to your communication with them. When you are in rapport with other people, there is a greater trust and connection between you.
Any ideas or suggestions you make (even if they are different to that of your prospects, customers, employees, suppliers, referrers and business partners) will at least be more easily considered when you have rapport with them. While they may still disagree with you, at least with rapport they will hear you out and consider your perspective, rather than automatically dismiss it or cut you off.
Getting into Rapport
There are several different ways to get into rapport with another person. When you are face to face with another person the best way to get into rapport is to match or mirror their physiology (ie. how they sit or stand). When you do this it is important to be subtle so that it remains out of your prospects’, customers’, employees’, suppliers’, referrers’ and business partner’s conscious awareness.
Here are two simple ways to get into fast rapport:
Match the other person’s breathing: this is the fastest way to establish rapport with another person. Watch and discretely match the location of their breathing (i.e. high chest, mid chest or stomach) and/or the rate of their breathing (i.e. fast, medium or slow); or
Match or mirror the other person’s arms or legs: if your prospect, customer, employee, supplier, referrer and business partner has their arms crossed, you would cross your arms in the same way; if they have their legs crossed, you would cross your legs in the same was as them. Again be subtle when you do this.
Within two minutes of matching or mirroring any of these aspects of the other person’s physiology you will feel a warm feeling of comfort around your stomach area, like an at home feeling with them. When you are feeling comfortable with them, they are also feeling comfortable with you – you are both in rapport with each other.
They will then feel more comfortable to open up and share problems and ideas with you, and will be more receptive to your ideas and hearing you out. Instead of resistance you will get a warm reception from them. Notice how with greater rapport your business relationships become even stronger.